A Sunny Life

NEW BLOG

2005-05-22T01:43:00.000+07:00

Well friends...

Finally I got my new blog up & runnin'. To check it out click Here

Thanks!

BLOGGIN’- O - RAMA

2005-03-24T02:49:00.000+07:00

Haven’t updated my blog for awhile coz it seems like I lost any inspiration to write. Plus I’ve been on “Sex in The City Marathon”. Finally I’ve got all of their DVD’s and I’ve finished their Fifth Season last night.

Also I’m thinking of doing a renovation for my blog so girls…maaf ya kayanya gw bakalan absent dulu dari dunia per-blogging-an untuk sementara. Thank’s for stopping by you’re all my sweet friends. Luv y’all! Oh & so pasti I’ll let you know when my new blog will be up & running. Ciao bella!

Leave Me Alone

2005-03-10T18:44:00.000+07:00

Being completely home alone is such a “hard to get & precious moments” here especially when you live with 2 brothers and their never ending comes and goes friends. I miss the quietness of this house, of having to play my own music, or watch whatever movie I want, sipping my coffee slowly with no one to bug me while I sit by the computer and Bogel sleeping peacefully near my feet. On normal basis…I would be trapped in my room coz the boys will be all over this house, some will be by the computer and some hijacking the TV.

I’ve feeling kinda blue lately. Maybe it’s because I had finally mailed all the paper work I had to sign to my fiancé so I basically got no “projects” to put my mind into. This is when I miss being at work so much, of the business, the day to day duties I had at the office. It’s been 5 months since the last time I drag my ass to work and I miss it. From the Visa Journey I learnt that when I arrived in JFK I could actually request for a temporary 90 day work authorization. That would be great and my fiancé really support me with whatever decision I want about working again. He even said he will ask around by the airport before I move there. That’d be great coz we could go to work together.

As soon as my fiancé send our K-1 paperwork to Vermont then I will go home to spend more time with my parents. I miss them a lot!

Rosey Day

2005-03-04T20:17:00.000+07:00

Got my passport today! YAY!!! Also I finally found the place to make the passport size photos. Then I could arrange everything and mail it to my fiancé on Monday. God, I’m so excited.

26…that’s the new number I have to get used with (sigh!). Actually I wasn’t really too happy in having another birthday since I can’t be with my fiancé but he really brighten up my day. He called to woke me up on Monday night (well it was actually midnight) to say Happy Birthday. Awww…he was the first person to say that. In the morning Papa called at around 8 and started to sing “Happy Birthday to you…Happy Birthday dear daughter…” He’s really not the kind of singing man so I teased him and said thank you but if he keeps on singing I’m afraid I won’t be having another birthday Mama called only a few minutes apart. My fiancé and I were messaging one another when I suddenly got a bit sad coz he said he just got a call and have to go to a plane. He called when he was on his way there and I tried so hard to sounds cheerful but I guess he knew.

My brother Reggy woke up and walk straight to the computer where I was playing game and he said “So…is it 28?” and I said “No…it’s 30!” He laughed and kissed my cheeks to say Happy B’day. When Danny woke up he must already be in a bad mood coz he didn’t even say Happy B’day to me. He just said “Is it your B’day today?” well I just answered him “What date is today?” Then he went to take a shower then left. Never even say Happy B’day all day long. Oh well…

When Reggy was on his way out I saw him talking to this guy wearing a helmet outside the fence. Then Reggy called me. Ohhhhh….it’s a courier delivering a huge bouquet of red roses. I was so stunned that I forgot to sign the receipt hehehe. But I was a little confused when I read the card coz this is how it looks like:

I called my fiancé straight away and say thank you. Oh I got so very very happy. Then he said “It’s so hard keeping this a secret from you for a week.” Hehehe… I really love the roses. They’re just so very pretty although the very long stems made it difficult hehehe. Since I don’t even have any flower vase I had to put them inside this tall plastic bottle from the kitchen.

When my fiancé finally called after he got home he asked me how many roses are there in the bouquet. I said I don’t know coz I just too excited to even bother how many are they hehehe so I count them. OH MY GOD!!! There are exactly 26 roses. I quickly interrogate him coz I thought it’s so sweet that he asked for the exact numbers as my b’day. James said NO! The reason he asked was because he didn’t know how many I would be getting since the florist told him that they can’t send the bouquet abroad based on how flowers on them. Maybe it’s the currency matters but they could only take an order based on how much money you give them. WOW! So that was one tiny weird but really nice coincidence.

Got online that night and I was surprised to see that the girls on IUC already posting Happy B’day wishes for me. That’s really sweet and touching. Thanks girls!

Although I was a little sad before for not being able to spend my b’day with the man that I love, I think this is the best b’day ever coz I could just feel the love from my fiancé surroundings me and the love from my family and friends. Also…on my next b’day I would be with my fiancé who’s going to be my husband by then. Thank you Lord for these blessings in my life!

Tiny Wedding Expo

2005-02-16T19:08:00.000+07:00

D'art of Wedding. That’s the name of a wedding exhibition I went to today. Saw their add on Perkawinan magazine and I thought I’d just check it out. Hmm…it’s more like a “Grand Opening” for Manten House than an exhibition because there are really not many choices there. Located at Patra Office Building, Manten House is a new wedding organizer with just a few vendors under their wing. They are:

4Caterer: Duta Boga Sarana (No comment since I’m not going to use any of caterers from Jakarta I didn’t even stop by their booth)

4Decoration: K’Jogja Decoration (Pretty good but not my kinda style)

4Designer : Angela Elegant Wedding Concept (Actually I love the kebaya they put on a display but gosh the lady who supposed to attend the booth went home early so no one to question there. Hello???!!! Duh!!!) & Anggun Busana (The owner her self talked to me & we discussed the kind of Kebaya that I want & she gave me the price.)

4Grooms Tuxedo: A2N Men’s Fashion (I was shocked to found out the price to make the kind of suit James wants. Btw, the owner of Anggun Busana whispered to me this tailor is so good and give a very low price for such quality (Brutus kinda suits, well the tailor is still working for Brutus!).

4Souvenir: Ritz Souvenir (They have so many cute little stuffs I can’t even decide which one I like best LOL)

4Stationery: Domino Wedding Card (Many cute wedding invitation designs on and the custom made Guest Book? LUV THE IDEA!)

4Photography: AA Photography (Luv their work especially the outdoor pre-wedding shots but seems pretty expensive)

All in all, this is not the best wedding expo I ever been to but its okay. There’ll be a huge wedding expo called “Grand Wedding Expo 2005” from 11 – 13 March 2005 at Jakarta Convention Center. Now, that’s something I gotta see coz it’s huge with more than 150 participants.

Today’s trend for wedding invitations is the use of pre-wedding photos. Sigh! Since we couldn’t do that when my fiancé was here I guess if we still want to use some photos on our wedding invitations, it will have to be from the ones we took with the digital camera.

HANDS TO HEAVEN

2005-02-15T20:24:00.000+07:00

Behind every single pain in our hearts fell from our eyes
There’s somebody wiping away these stray of tears
For these long lonely nights we roll in our beds
There’s somebody gently hold us in the darkness

Through these depth of solitude
There’s somebody embracing our souls
Beyond our tearful prayers
There’s somebody smile upon us relieve our sadness

For He had blessed us with a precious gift
This is nothing but another test
Our hearts and souls must endures
Until the day He bestow the most perfect reward

So now raise our hands to heaven
Leave all our wearies to Him
Let Him comfort our pain
For the promise He give us will be redeem

Soon these pains that drive us insane will cease
Time will unfolds our beautiful futures
The day we stand in the witness of our family and friends
Pledge our sacred love and vows to the Lord

Raise your hands to heaven baby…

“He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. “
Ecclesiastes 3:11

PS: This poem is inspired by Christian Bautista song Hands To Heaven.

Happy Valentine's Day

2005-02-15T02:10:00.000+07:00

VALENTINE’S DAY…

So? It just irritates me a little because on TV and even on the radio everywhere…they’re talking about Valentine’s Day. Before, it was irritating because I never have anyone to celebrate this lovey-dovey day but now it gets under my skin coz I can’t be with my fiancé and it’s our first Valentine’s Day. In my mind there’s a “perfect” Valentine’s Day image and how it suppose to be but I have to keep them to my self for now at least until I’m with my fiancé again. The thoughts that we’ll be husband and wife on our next Valentine’s Day put a wide smile on my face.

Around 7:00 PM my best friend China called and asked me to go to Oh La La Café across the street from Sarinah. She insisted that I show up. Lucky I just ironed my hair this morning hehehe. By the time I got there she’s still caught up in traffic…sigh! She then message me “Don’t come in yet, wait outside. I wanna treat you!” I only replied: “Thanks God”

China finally showed up around 8:00 PM. Café Oh La La was so jammed packed outside in their terrace so we got no choice but to went inside. After 30 minutes China’s friend Yunita came over (they work together). Then one of the waiters visited every table to give a plastic pink for everyone there. Sweet! Soon the waiter told us that there’s an empty table for us outside by the terrace. YAY! Outside they set up a little stage for a 3 people band of an organ player, a guitar player and a singer. They asked people to sing and a guy bravely stepped forward and he sang Keith Martin’s “Because of You”. WOW! He’s so good that people just cheered for more. Can’t really remember his second song tho’. After that a lady contributed as well. This girl is so amazing coz she sing as if she’s in a pub and was very active moving around really professional style. She sang Gloria Geynor’s “I Will Survive” people were practically dancing in their chairs. Cool.

We stayed there until 12:30 AM after 2 of cappuccinos and lots of . It was fun and entertaining way to spend our Valentine’s Night. We chat, we laugh. China & her friend are singles and I was feeling a little blue being away from my fiancé so we made a perfect group for the night hehehe. Thanks China for asking me out. Luv ya girl!

LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF LIFE

2005-02-14T19:15:00.000+07:00

Love is being happy for the other person when they are happy,
being sad for the person when they are sad
being together in good times and being together in bad times.
Love is the source of strength

Love is being honest with your self at all times,
being honest with the other person at all times,
telling, listening, respecting the truth and never pretending.
Love is the source of reality.

Love is giving and taking in daily situation
being patient with each other’s need & desires.
Love is the source of sharing

Love is knowing that the other person
will always be with you regardless of what happens
missing the other person when they are away
but remaining near in heart at all times
Love is the source of security

~ Susan Polis Schutz ~

Preparation...Preparation...

2005-02-12T22:10:00.000+07:00

My fiancé and I talked a lot about our wedding preparation today. Our theme: “East Meet West in Eternity” We believe this is the right theme since it represent where we both coming from and the join of our true love in one sacred bond. We talked about the stuffs that we are going to include on our wedding ceremony and reception but there’s so much stuffs that represent both East & West so we agree that I will make a list of both wedding cultures and traditions then we will pick which one we like best and the not so complicated ones. Indonesia has thousands of cultures and traditions when it comes to weddings. Being a mix product (of Ambon & Manado) I honestly don’t really know much about my parents ancestor custom for wedding. So I need to do a little research.

One thing I know about Ambon and Manado culture is these people loves to dance hehehe. So I bet there’s going to be lots of Poco-poco (I love this dance!). We also want to have a father daughter dance at the reception where I will be dancing with my Papa. I could see how beautiful it is going to be to have my “last” dance with him; I already decided the song too. Forgot the singer but the title is: “Butterfly Kisses”. That song really represents a father and daughter relationship from her early childhood to the day of her wedding.

Mama called tonight and she told me about this brand new country club in one of the housing estate nearby our house. She said it’s so beautiful and will be perfect for our outdoor wedding. Unfortunately, until we receive our NOA2 we can’t really make too much preparation for our wedding coz the date will be depend on that letter. James will come here after I got my fiancé visa approved. Mama assured me that she and her friends will help and I don’t have to worry. Thank you Mama!

My fiancé and I also had agreed to make our own wedding vow and James has already write down some of ideas for his vows. When he read me a tiny part of what he has written I got tears in my eyes because it’s just so beautiful. I just hope on the big day my nerves won’t take over and make me forgot my vow hehehe.

I read a story in Chicken Soup for The Bride’s Soul today and without realizing it I had tears running down my cheeks because it was talking about a father facing his daughter’s wedding and how much love he have for his little girl. It has a really beautiful quote before the story: “You know what they say: “My son’s my son until he gets him a wife, but my daughter’s my daughter all of her life.” (Stanley Banks in Father of The Bride, 1950). That story reminds me of my own relationship with Papa. I’ve always been his little girl till this very moment. As much as I looked forward to all the future held for my husband to be and me, this intense feeling of ending my girlhood pierced my heart and although I had moved out of my parents house for years it feels just as hard as the first time I left home 11 years ago.

Being on my own for so long never makes me stop being Papa’s little girl coz he and Mama has always been there for me through almost each and every uproar in my life. Reading that story makes me realize that my time to really “leave home” is almost there. I will miss my family and friends so much when I go away, that’s my biggest concern…homesick. It is going to be a big change, the biggest one in my whole life. To start a family with the man that I love with all my heart and soul is a dream come true, to adapt to a completely new world over there I could only wish my experienced of “moving around” so much when I was little until high school will help in this department.

That’s one of the reasons why I am hoping that after we got our NOA1 I could go home to spend some more time with my parents before I have to go and also to prepare our wedding.

A Week Without You

2005-02-08T21:33:00.000+07:00

Night Owl…

Seems like I’m the one who’s having jet-lag or something coz ever since James went home I can’t sleep at nights. My night sleep won’t start until around 5:00 AM – 6:00 AM and that’s when only my eyes just couldn’t fight my feelings anymore. Well I’m not the only one coz he’s going thru the same thing. Seems like we only sleep because we have to not because we want to and we won’t have any peaceful and soundly sleep until we are together again.

7 days ago…at this time around…we were still together and stubbornly spent his last night here by staying awake all night long.

“I could stay awake just to hear you breathin’
Watch you smile while you out sleeping.
While you’re far away and dreamin’
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost to this moment forever
Every moment spend with you is the moment I treasure.

Don’t wanna close my eyes.
I don’t wanna fall asleep coz I miss you babe
And I don’t wanna miss a thing
Coz even when I dream of you
The sweetest dreams would never do
I still miss you babe
And I don’t wanna miss a thing

Lyin’ close to you feelin’ your heart beatin’
And I wonderin’ what you’re dreamin’
Wonderin’ if it’s me you’re seein’
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we’re together
Well I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

I don’t wanna close my eyes.
I don’t wanna fall asleep coz I miss you babe
And I don’t wanna miss a thing
Coz even when I dream of you
The sweetest dreams would never do
I still miss you babe
And I don’t wanna miss a thing

I don’t wanna miss one smile
I don’t wanna miss one kiss
I just wanna be with you right here with you
Just like this
I just wanna hold you close
And feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time

Coz even when I try
The sweetest dream would never do
I still miss you babe
And I don’t wanna miss a thing…”
I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing ~ Aerosmith

Oh God…only 1 week but it feels much much longer...A week does not ease the longing in our hearts it just makes it even deeper. I still miss him so much everyday, every minute. But somehow I miss him even more tonight (this morning as it’s already 3:34 AM by now) that I can’t help but crying again especially when I hear our songs and stare at our photos.

James LeGrande Rohn…I you & I miss you so much!!!

A Lonely Cup

2005-02-07T23:16:00.000+07:00

God, I feel like I just want to sleep and only wake up when I could be reunited with my fiancé again.

Made some coffee in our coffee maker (& this time I succeeded YAY!) and it just make me sad to see there’s only 1 cup there, the other cup is so far away on the other side of the world. James took that other cup back home with him. Even my cup looks very lonely without its partner.

Then I read some more from that book James gave me. He bought that book for us when we first planned to have our small intimate wedding in Bali. It’s called “Intimate Weddings. Planning a Small Wedding That Fits Your Budget & Style.”

It’s a really nice book as it describe the kind of wedding I really wanted and even featured some real life couples with their small weddings. But WOW, I’m amazed by the figures those couples spent. So far the cheapest one cost over $ 4,000 for a 35 invitations.

Well now that we had changed our plans we are not going to really have a small intimate wedding in Balikpapan. Mama told me yesterday that at least 200 people of my parents close friends will be there at our wedding. That’s about 100 invitations but I know how people are. One invitation for two doesn’t really apply as it meant to be. That’s alright though because we know that is important for my parents, after all I’m their only daughter.

That book gives me some ideas to put in our wedding though. I don’t want us to be put up on a stage for the reception. I want it to be a relax wedding not being too formal, where both of us could mingle around the guest who is mostly my parents friends. Most of my friends in Jakarta won’t be able to come to Balikpapan.

Oh my fiancé surprised me yesterday when he said he sent an SMS to Mama and not long after that he sent me this SMS:

“Oh Baby lihat. GOD, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. From Dad – James: Please don't call us Pak & Bu, looks very formal. We felt the time we spend much too short, hopefully we were not leaving any unexpected or inappropriate behaviors. Once again, welcome to our family. Cheers & God Bless. Thanks for your SMS.”

My heart puffed with so much love for both my fiancé and my parents because of this. Then Mama called me straight away. I got tears in my eyes when she read me James’s SMS for them. She said they both are so happy to hear from James and they can’t wait to meet us again. Mama also told me that Papa will be going to Papua for work probably in 2 weeks from now (it’s still not confirm yet) and she didn’t want to go so she hope I could come home. Oh God…I really wish I could go home but I can’t…not just yet. I’m still waiting to make my passport. After I got my passport then I could go home coz I could mail that G-325A Form along with the copy of my passport to James.

Although we are both very lucky that our K-1 will be process in Vermont, which is the fastest Service Center I am still a bit nervous about that. Please help us Lord!

~ ~

Sunday Story

2005-02-06T21:52:00.000+07:00

Went to Carrefour this evening, should’ve been there since yesterday but I just didn’t feel like going at all. There are so many memories of us there in Ambassador Mall and the ITC. So glad Danny was in a good mood and willing to go with me coz I really didn’t want to go there alone. On our way there there’s an interesting little talked between the ojek driver and me. Btw, he’s that guy James like coz he was the one who always seems to be so happy to see us and asked us “Mister, where are you going?”
Ojek driver: “Bokin mane?”
Me: “Tunangan Bang.”
Ojek driver: “Ooh…jadi ntu calonnye Neng.”
Me: “Iye Bang tapi dia dah balik.”
Ojek driver: “Kesini liburan ye?”
Me: “Ya gitu dah Bang”
Ojek driver: “Orang mane Neng?” (Duh it’s getting personal!)
Me: “Orang Amrik Bang”
Ojek driver: “Ooh…knape kaga ikutan kesono Neng? Pan enakan di sono ye?”
Me: “Ya pan nunggu kawin dulu dong Bang.” (Oh boy!)
Ojek driver: “Kayanye die baek bener orangnye. Senyum mulu.”
Me: “Kalo kaga baek mane mau kita Bang.” (With a really big smile on my face)

Glad to get off his bike coz I know there are more questions coming up if the ride is longer.

We went to Fuji Image Plaza first to print some more of the photos we took when James was here. It should be ready tomorrow coz they will be close in 2 hours. From there we went to Carrefour. Sunday…as I thought it’s so crowded there. I asked one of the shop attendants by the Coffee Maker section for Coffee Maker’s Filter. She said they don’t have it but she said maybe I want to check down the kitchen utensils section. YAY!!!! They have lots of it and I got 1 pack.

From there Danny and I went to get some more stuff (mostly mine). Lots of mix couple there and in my head I can’t help but saying “Shoo…shoo…shoo…” The last time I went there was with James and it was us that people were staring at. He said some of the girls smiled when they saw us, some (mostly elder people) stared at us with dismay, and some had that little envious look. To say the truth, when I was with my fiancé in public I never really pay too much attention on how other people sees us but James seems to notice those stuffs hehehe. He did mention something that kinda took me by surprise tho’. It happened last Friday when we walked out of Warteg after lunch and we passed by lots of guys coming home from their Friday prayers by the mosque. We were holding hands before but when we passed those guys I dropped my hand and walked slightly behind him. I didn’t even remember that I do that until he asked me. He understands how people are but he didn’t want me to feel obligated to live by other’s standards. I swear that I didn’t even realize I did that. Lucky, James didn’t get offended or anything, instead he thinks it’s cute coz when we were at the malls or other places outside my neighborhood I never do that.

This is quite tricky especially because in my neighborhood most people are still very conservative and mostly Betawi people. They were already so shock to see me with a bule especially because they never see me with a man before other than my brothers. I feel truly blessed that James is being so understanding and flexible about this because I never wanted him to feel or think that I am embarrassed to be seen in public with him in my own neighborhood but I also still want those people to respect me. Some of them were obviously surprised when we passed some of their houses in the small alley to my house and James said “Misi…” just like I always do.

After we finished our little shopping, Danny told me he wants to go to see his friend. So I walked out the mall alone. Even as I walked I can’t stop thinking of the love of my life. I smile as I passed that sidewalk we sat and had a smoke (something I never did before LOL!). Seems like all the places that I normally go to have James’s faces and our memories printed all over. From the tiny (irritating) internet café, Warteg, Wartel, Ambassador Mall and even the walks to those small warungs…everywhere I go he’s there.

I MISS YOU SO VERY BERY MUCH JAMES LEGRANDE ROHN!!!
~ ~

Nasi Goreng

2005-02-05T21:00:00.000+07:00

Masak…

Out of the blue, I feel like making some Nasi Goreng for dinner tonight and I mean really making it. Even fried some of the left over kerupuk udang (shrimp crackers) that Mama bought when she came here and cook for us. Kerupuk udang reminds me of my fiancé so much. He likes them!

My nasi goreng isn’t as good as Mama’s but it won’t kill a hungry stomach hehehe.

Some of my close friends and even Mama has been nagging me to start learning to cook. Hmmm…cooking isn’t really my fave thing to do so I guess that’s why I’ve been so lazy to do so. Although I am well aware that it will be so difficult if after I got married, moved there and still can’t cook, I just don’t have the heart to do so…maybe for now. James on the other hand, he loves to cook and he’s an excellent cook! Imagine he could make his own rending. WOW! He told me today that he’s going to do a little shopping tomorrow so he could try some of the recipes from that book Mama gave him. It put a smile on my face thinking how our lives will be together. He would probably be the one who can cook lots of Indonesian food compare to his Indonesian wife hehehe.

Sometimes I watch in wonders how Mama and some of my friends could cook just about anything. The only thing I could cook is all the “Menu Anak Kost” consists of: instant noodles, fried eggs, omelets, and nasi goreng.

Well hopefully it will comes naturally just like Mama. She couldn’t even cook a thing when she got married hehehe.

One Hot Day

2005-02-05T17:34:00.000+07:00

My fiancé called me at around 10:00 AM this morning. Gosh, I miss his laughter’s. He told me he had printed 45 copies of our photos when he was here. We talked about his work and I asked him would it be a bad idea to find a new job while we are processing our K-1 and he said he doesn’t know for sure but he’ll check it out. All I want is for my future husband to be happy at what he’s doing (I know he loves the airplanes) and to be appreciated for all of his hard works.

Whoa been a really hot day. Thought the electricity went down again turned out that there’s a shortcut on our amp meter. Reggy found out about it at around 1:00 PM after we all had to go “panas-panasan”.

Danny and I (also Bogel) went to Wisma Lida to cool down a little. The room is completely empty and it’s just feel so strange to be there. So in less than an hour I asked Danny to come home. I handed back the key…Room 25 to Mas Karyo. Funny how there’s a heavy feelings in my heart when I returned that key while on the other hand I can’t stand being in that room for too long.

Trying to make coffee a la my fiancé but it was a total mess hehehehe I really need to get some of those filters for our coffee maker.

Oh, I bumped into Christine (Reggy’s friend) last night while I was at the internet café. Christine family lives in Balikpapan since forever so when she asked when will I get marry (I bet she heard about my engagement news from Reggy or Danny) I asked her if she or her parents knows any good bridal salon, venues and stuffs like that. She said her grandpa works for one of the best hotel there and she’s going to call him and ask around. YAY! Thanks girl! My parents only lived in Balikpapan for the past 2 years so they may not be aware of good wedding essential vendors in that city. I alone never been to a wedding in Balikpapan but from what Mama describes, I think wedding organizer is still very rare there. Typical wedding there would be in a building’s function room or hotel ball room. What James and I want is something less formal, a pool or garden party maybe. That can be done in one of the few nice hotels there (Hotel Dusit, Hotel Blue Sky, Hotel Grand Senyiur). However, I am a bit worry about the bridal salon coz I don’t know if there’s any good one there. I don’t want to look like a heavily painted wall with red lipstick on our wedding pictures. For the caterer, I will leave that up to Mama and Aunt Selvy coz that’s their expertise.

Gosh, there so many things to be taken care of for our wedding in Balikpapan and I could only hope our wedding day won’t be a plain and boring one like the ones that I’ve been too so many times. With Papa’s title as the previous “Bapa Raja” in the Ambonese society in Sangatta (a small city 6 hours away from Balikpapan and where they used to lived before) I bet there’s going to be a lot of Ambonese families in our wedding. That means lots of dancing. YAY! That’s the fun part…there’s gonna be some poco-poco, sajojo and maybe other dances.

I am still amazed by why James wanted to have our wedding over there instead of in Jakarta. He said “I know your father never say it but I can tell that it means a lot for him to have his one and only daughter’s wedding over there.” Awww…see why I love this man? God, I can’t wait to look into his bright beautiful very green eyes and saying “I do…”

Ok, I wanna take a shower now. Jakarta is sooooooooo hot today!

Days Without You Baby

2005-02-04T22:00:00.000+07:00

It's very hard indeed...but I am so thankful that I have where there so many friends and sisters there that sincerely care and very supportive the whole time. They've been thru what James and I are going thru right now. Thank you girls. I love you all. My family also makes me feel a lot better especially Mama, she's been calling almost everyday (seems like to check up on how am I handling this temporary separation) just to talk about anything. She even already start to do her own little "survey" for our wedding in Balikpapan. Awww...thank you Mama!

Been raining a lot lately especially yesterday.

The few from our "Kost" yesterday when it rains

It rained so hard and it makes me feel like even Jakarta cry with me (I know it's too much! LOL).

James called me this morning and just the sounds of his voice really really makes me very happy. We cried again coz we really miss one another. He called me yesterday as soon as he got home and I was so glad to hear that he got home safe and sound.

Good thing I could get online and play around with my blog as it take my mind away from feeling so blue all day long. Although I still miss him very much I think I'm doing much better than yesterday. Yes, I'm still wonderin around wearin his t-shirt and sleep with my little red doggy that he sent me a few months ago (sprayed his cologne on it)

but the thoughts of how happy our lives will be together makes me so happy.

THE HARDEST DAY OF OUR LIVES

2005-02-01T21:00:00.000+07:00

"One more day
One more night by your side
Where our dreams collided and all we have is everything
If I promise to believe would you believe that there’s no where that we’d rather be
The world describe where we are
Love you waive goodbye

And all I ever wanted to stay
Nothing in this world gonna change
Never wanna wake up from this night
Never wanna leave this moment
Waiting for you only
Only you
Never gonna forget every single thing you do
Loving you is my finest hour
Leaving you is the hardest day of my life"

(The Hardest Day-The Corrs)

God, tears can’t seem to stop falling. After the most beautiful 12 days in my whole life with the man that is now my fiancé it is surely the hardest thing to see him walk away boarded his plane. Our tears has been falling down since yesterday as we both knows it’s so hard to be away from one another again after being together and finding that we truly are soulmates. “I promise I will be back soon. I love you my Sunny.” He whispered behind his tears as we shared our last hugs too sadden to be without one another I begged that time would just stop so we could stay together. Tears can’t seem to stop when he stood there looking at me from behind the immigration gate and give me “I love you” sign language. I made the same sign and waited until he walked into his gate to board. Tears continued falling down as I went outside. Flight Information Board announced GIA 860 09:00 Hong Kong Boarding. My heart sank as I felt my legs got so weaken as I stepped outside to have a smoke and I keep on touching my engagement ring trying to be strong. Can’t believe 12 days passed by so quickly. Tried to find that place “Anjungan Pengantar” like in the domestic terminal where people could go and actually see the plane leaving but the cleaning service guy said international terminal doesn’t have that place anymore as they’ve turned it into a transit hotel. I was really hoping that I could see his plane leaving. Stayed there in front of the Departure Gate until the Flight Information Board says: "GIA 860 Hong Kong Departed"

As I walked outside to leave I felt a part of me had gone with my fiancé and I saw a plane up in the sky but I’m not sure if it’s his plane as it’s too far to tell. My shoulder drops as I went home. But as I entered our room and smell his deodorant still floating around I can’t help but breaking down and cry again. That room suddenly felt to empty and strange without him next to me. All of our stuffs are still lying around as if he never left. God, I miss him so very much already! My fiancé left so many of his t-shirts and stuffs for me “I will be back soon so I’ll just leave all of these with you istriku.” That’s what he said last night. When he starts to packed his black little suitcase I can’t help but breaking down again and cried. He rushed to hold me very tightly, tried to cheer me but without a word we both knows that this is the hardest thing to do. Although we both realize that this is something that we must do it still hurts to be separated by distance again. To be “alone” again in my days and to see all of the places we’ve went together, it even hurts to walk to my house alone without him beside me putting his arms around my shoulder. “I promise you nothing will stop me from coming back and we will be together forever baby.” Those words he whispered a lot even since a few days ago. There’s no doubt in my heart that my fiancé will keep his words coz he’s always been true to his words it’s the separation that makes me very sad. No matter how hard I tried to pull my self together coz I didn’t want him to feel even sadder it’s just so hard to pretend to be okay when we both knows one another too well. Told him not to be too sad and behind our tears we smiled as we talked about how beautiful and meaningful these last 12 days has been for us. We both never felt truly loved like this before.

Oh God…please help us to be strong coz we both realize that this is just another journey we must go through together and once we’ve passed all of these tears, loneliness and longing we will be together spending our lives as a family. This is just one more test of our pure love…that’s what I’ve been telling my self and my fiancé. We will make it thru and have the rest of our lives to make it up for all the times we’ve been separated.

I love you so much calon suamiku.

Our Last Day

2005-01-31T23:46:00.000+07:00

We tried to finish the I-129 F Form and G-325 A again today coz we’ve been trying to do that from the internet café on the last few days but it’s so hard coz of their slow connections, the café also didn’t have the right Adobe Reader to fill the forms. Arrrgggh….

Both of us were a little blue today coz this is our last day together. This made me a little grumpy not towards James but to everything else around me. From the café to how messy my brothers made the house looked.

There’s no use in pretending, either denial coz we both hates to let this day go. We cried so much already. We don’t even have to say anything as it is very obvious just by staring at those beautiful green eyes that he feels the same way. I told him that I cried not because I’m worry he will not keep his promise to return to me. These tears are for the God knows how many days nights must we spend being separated waiting for our K-1 visa.

Hugging him close I could feel that I already miss this man. I have never felt so much love in my heart before but now I know that what we have is true love. He really is my soulmate.

All the pains we had to go thru in the past had brought us to this precious gift of a life time, a love so pure and true. At some points in our lives we both were being so skeptical about that so called soulmate theories. But now we know that we’ve been rewarded with the most special gift from God. A present that He has been wrapping and preparing for us all of these times and now is being given unto us. We never thought we deserve to be this happy before but our Lord is so magnificent. He really blesses us with things greater than our imaginations.

Now, I could look back and completely let go of any access baggage I once carried around from the past. I should even thanks those people who had hurt me before for if it hadn’t been them…I would never found my true happiness. The man I am proudly calls as my fiancé, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Although there were so many tears today I kept telling James to be strong. To try not to remember me for my tears or the sadness in my eyes coz I really am very happy. He has given me the best 12 days in my life ever. He really is the best thing in my life just by being him. “Please remember me for all the silly little fun things we’ve done together, of how these 12 days has been the most beautiful days in our lives and how this separation would only bring us much closer to finally be together forever.” That’s what I said behind my tears and we both smiled.

God, I really do love this man. He truly is more than everything that I ever hoped, dreamed, prayed for all my life. I could never ask for anything more than this kind of love. To be loved and loved this much is a blessing that not many people lucky enough to get. Thank you for trusting us with such a huge blessings. Please bless our relationships and the road ahead of us. Amen.

~ ~

Sad Sunday

2005-01-30T23:27:00.000+07:00

James wants us to go and see my parents to say goodbye as they’re going home at 10:00 AM. So I called Mama and she said we better hurry coz they’ll be checking out at 08:00 AM. Although we had to drag our self out of bed I know how much it means for my fiancé to say his gratitude to my parents. When we got there Mama and Papa was on their way to the restaurant and asked us to join them for breakfast. James who doesn’t normally eat breakfast made an exception today. Thank you my love!

Again we talked about our plans to have the wedding in Balikpapan. My parents seem to be so excited. Mama even suggested a honey moon in Bali right after our wedding, before we go. James told them that Vermont is the fastest service center so we think we will have our Fiancé Visa approval within the next 4-6 months at most.

At almost 8:00 PM we were ready to go, the silver bird from hotel is ready and we took some last photos with my parents. James and Papa only shake hands this time but I can already tell that my father had fully approved on my choice. Mama gave James a big hug. They dropped us by Ambassador Mall.

No ojek that morning coz the weather was really nice so we decided to walk home. We were just holding onto one another as we walked. Seems like we both had already realized that soon he have to leave.

Just before Mama and Papa board they call us from the airport and they asked me what does James thinks of them. I told them the truth that James had fell in love with us the Hitipeuws too. Then after that Mama sent me SMS she said: “We’ll miss you Oyen and James”. Awww…I felt so happy and sad at the same time. Happy for my family had fully accepted James and sad as we can’t spend too much time with them.

We spent our last Sunday being so relaxing and it does help makes the day felt a little slower. Coz in my heart I know I wish Tuesday will never come.

Oh baby I love you so much and I just want to enjoy every single minutes we got left together.

~ ~

What a Day!

2005-01-29T13:38:00.000+07:00

Early morning Papa called to woke me up. He wants us to come to the Hotel before 09:00 AM. We are going to see Aunt Daisy and his old friend.

Papa’s old friend’s house was so far. It’s in Cibubur area and it’s still very much a village. My heart got so swollen with happiness when Mama introduced James to them as “Calon suami anak saya” (my future son in law). This is my bule masuk kampung hehehehe

Being there that day made me realize how lucky I am to have someone like him coz he didn’t even feel dismayed with that area and quickly enjoyed being there. He said if it’s not raining he would ask me to go for a little walk around that village and let the parents talk awhile. We didn’t stay there too long then we’re off to Aunt Daisy house in Kramat. The traffic was so bad but it was fun to see how the 4 of us just being silly in the taxi. It just feels so right.

Aunt Daisy didn’t know we’re going to introduce her to my future husband. She’s Papa’s cousin and they’ve always been very close. Aunt Daisy was playing a bit tough on James. As she sat there in the high chair (James and I sat on the sofa). Her first question was “So, what is your plan with my niece?” Oh no…I was worried coz Kak Reza (Aunt Daisy oldest son) also joined in the interrogations. But James was doing so great and he answered all the questions. It was even harder than the night before hehehehehe.

When we’re about to leave I got tears in my eyes when Aunt Daisy tapped James on his shoulder and said “Please take good care of my niece.” Awww…thank you Auntie Daisy.

After a very late lunch James and I went home to pick up the cable data for the digital camera coz Papa wants to copy some photos we took in his laptop. We decided to go swimming at the hotel although it was raining before.

Then we returned to Papa – Mama’s room. Papa & Reggy went out to buy some dinner. I told Mama that James and I decided to go out tonight. We wanted to check out the bar downstairs “Stix”. So while the boys had dinner I got ready to go out for the first time with my fiancé. YAY!!!

We took some more photos with Mama and Papa after James and I ready to go. It was so much fun!

Around 10:00 PM we went down to “Stix”.

It wasn’t very crowded for a Saturday night standard. The band was so-so, nothing special. A waitress quickly approaching us as we found a seat in the corner. I asked to see their drink list first hehehehe. She came back, handed me the list then quickly asked James as if I’m not even there “Would you like to drink Sir?” That bitchy waitress gave me a very degrading look when I said “We will look at this list first okay then we will decide what to order.” Her looks was like saying “You’re a controlling ayam”. James and I laughed about that and decided to go to Bats instead.

WOW Bats was jammed packed. James can’t believe his eyes to see how those girls acted there hehehehe. We found a place nearby the bar nearby dinner area and we saw this young girl sitting on a bule’s lap. Her dress….ehm…I think she got the chest part a little too big for such a tiny boobies. In a way, everybody nearby them had a free booby’s shows hehehehhee. Then we saw another young girl (a lot younger than the boobies’ girl wearing a really sexy halter neck that shows off her midriff almost fully dancing so provocatively in front of an old bule. James whispered to me: “Wow, if that’s my daughter I would be dragging her home by the hair right now.” Hehehehehe.

We just found a booth to sit when the band start to play My Boo. James stubbornly insisted that we should go down to the dance floor right in front of the stage to dance although there’s barely enough room to just move around hehehehe. So we did it. And oh my….this guy continues to surprise me by how good he moves. My fiancé got nice grooves YEAH!!! We dance as if there’s no body on the dance floor but us. At first we said “Ok, let’s go back to our spot after this Destiny Child’s song.” But the band then played a really special song (it used to be my anthem) I Will Survive from Gloria Geynor so we decided to dance again. We really dance the night away hehehehe. By the time we stopped the band already closed their gig for that night and it was already 2 in the morning hehehehe.

A long day but with lots of fun!

Big Day

2005-01-28T23:40:00.000+07:00

We didn’t go to Park Lane until after lunch. Mama wants me to stop by at a Padang Restaurant coz she wants some Nasi Padang. Papa had to go to work again today but it’s his last day coz he’ll be free tomorrow. The three of us had lunch together. James had his Soto Ayam while I had Nasi Goreng (again!).

Then we talked about how do James supposed to have that big “talk” with Papa. Mama said we will leave them alone in the room hehehehe. I already told Mama that this is an engagement ring and that James had proposed to me.

Papa came back early before 06:00 PM but not long after that two of his old friends that he haven’t met in over 25 years came by to see him. So we decided to go down to the swimming pool with Danny.

Around 07:30 PM Mama SMS Danny and told us to come up coz Papa’s friends had gone home. We wasn’t so sure if it would be a right time to talk to Papa about that but Mama insisted that it’d be best to do it tonight.

Danny left the room not long and Papa was sitting on the bed while James sits in the other end of the bed.

Mama sits on that small chair while I’m on the floor right next to her. They were talking and watch “Tuxedo” on HBO. I asked Mama should we go and leave these two alone. She said it’s ok, we can stay. James didn’t realized that there’s a changed of plans so he didn’t say anything at all until I came to him and whispered “You can talk now and tell him.” James was obviously so nervous and it’s normal considering he never do anything like that before. I was also so nervous of how Papa would react. It was actually Papa who broke the ice and said “So James, I heard that there’s something you would like to talk to me.” Then we broke off into laughter coz it is a little funny. First timers for James and me also for my parents hehehehe.

James told Papa that he already proposed to me but we both wants to ask for his permission and blessings first. Although Papa had that formal tone in his voice when he speaks I can just tell that he’s so happy for us. He only said that I’m a grown woman and I am free to make my own decision but he also wants us to be completely sure that this is what we want as marriage is a sacred thing especially for my family. As parents he just wants what’s best for me and to see me happy. My eyes met with James and we both smiles so happily I feel like running up to him and hug him. Papa then shared his own experienced of proposing to my grandpa. Mama also said that she had asked my brothers and Papa what they think about James. All of them like him. Papa thinks he’s a really nice man. Papa then stood up after he said “See…it’s not that hard isn’t James? Now you could sleep much better at night.” James approached him to shake his hand and say thank you but Papa pull him and hug him while saying “So, welcome to the family James.” OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! I feel so truly happy and I jumped up to give a hug to Papa too and said thank you.

At dinner James explained our plans for the Fiancé Visa. We both agree that we will have the ceremony and reception in Balikpapan. Today is surely one of the happiest days of our life. Thank you Jesus, thank you Papa & Mama.

~ ~

Meet The Hitipeuws

2005-01-27T23:19:00.000+07:00

My parents arrived in Jakarta at 10:00 AM. By almost 11.00 AM Mama called and telling me they’re on their way to Park Lane Hotel. She wants us to come there as soon as they know their room number. A few minutes later Mama called again and she said “Yen, James won’t be like that guy from that reality show “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé” right?” And she broke into laughter with Papa as I screamed “NO WAY!!!”

We got to Park Lane Hotel just a few minutes before 12:00 PM and Papa already called me a few times asking us to hurry up coz he has to drop by the head office after lunch. Mama told me to straight to their room 1433. James seems a little nervous but excited. Papa opened the door and gave me a big hug. After that I introduced James to him. They shook hands then I ran into Mama and hug her. James gave that box of sugar free candies and chocolates and a card. Mama was very happy about that hehehhee. Like I thought, Papa rushes us all to the restaurant for lunch.

Reggy arrived with Ginta (his best friend) not long after that and joined us. Danny came the last looking very tired after a final exam hehehehe. It was fun coz James could easily blend in with my crazy family.

After lunch Papa has to go to work so Mama asked us all to go back to their room. On our way back we passed this young mother with her really cute baby girl and Mama loosely said “James, I want one…or two…or three…of those.” Ouch my face just goes so hot when she said that. James just smiled, holds my hand tighter and said “We will try our best”

Mama said she got something for James’s Mom. Aww…she got her this set of really pretty baby purple stones for Mom. Mama also got something for James….this special recipe book made by Tanjung Bara Women’s Society where we used to lived. It has lots of Indonesian foods recipe inside including Mom’s soto ayam, and ayam panggang. Since my fiancé love to cook he’s so happy to got that book.

We talked and relax. Although at first I worry of how I suppose to behave towards James in front of my parents and family as I never take anyone home before, again…God made it so easy for us all. There’s no awkward moments too with Mama and James or from me to him.

Mama said she wants to go to our house and cook us dinner. So at around 04:00 PM we all went to Ambassador Mall where Mama did a little groceries shopping since we never cook at home hehehehe. Mama wants to cook us her famous Nasi Goreng…yummy! I asked her to make some with chilies. Papa came home almost at 08:00 PM and we had dinner. Gosh…Mama’s nasi goreng was sooooo pedas. I was a little worry that James will get a stomach ache coz for me that’s too spicy and I can’t even finish it. My fiancé amazes us all when he even get some more of the hot spicy “rocket fuels” nasi goreng hehehehe. WOW!!! It is so right to say “Lidahnya James lebih Manado dari gw.” (He’s more Manado than me) Hehehehee.

All in all…it was a good day! James presence among my family just feels so natural and it makes me so happy.

~ ~

YAY!!!

2005-01-26T23:20:00.000+07:00

Mama called me very early in the morning. She said she had a little talked with Papa last night and they are going to come to Jakarta. YAY!!!!!!!!! Mama said Papa is trying to take care of the tickets for them.

God is so good to us indeed!!! When Papa talked to his boss about taking a few days leave to go to Jakarta, Mr. Trevor Howie said “Well why don’t you just go to Jakarta on a business travel then coz there’s some little stuffs that you need to check anyway.” It means all expenses are on the company. Oh Thank You Lord!

Missed Our Plane

2005-01-25T23:32:00.000+07:00

We supposed to fly to Balikpapan today to meet my parents. Our tickets are ready and we were scheduled to take the flight at 03:00 PM. My mistake…thought we had more than enough time to make it to the airport that I decided it’s gonna be fun to take the Airport Bus from Gambir so we could see Monas even for a little. Turned out that the bus didn’t leave until over 02:00 PM. Like I feared we missed the plane by the time we got to the airport at 03:15 PM. That’s the last flight to Balikpapan by Batavia Air. S#$%!!!! I tried to reschedule it for tomorrow but thanks to the slowwwww bus driver there’s already some people on that missed the flight too. We were put on # 4 & 5 in their waiting list without any guarantee that we could leave. They said we even had to pay more. To make things worst since our tickets are on special fares they can’t give our money back. #$%*$*. For the first time I saw James’s face got very tighten and serious. He’s upset too but more to the airlines. He said “This will never happen in the US. If you missed a flight they will help to put you in the next plane available even if it’s by a different airline. If I only my Bahasa is better.”

James was being so good even when I had my hair up in fire coz of that. He cheered me up and promised we will meet my parents somehow. As expected, my parents were furious. I felt sooo guilty and bad when I called Mama to tell her what happened. There were many tears that night coz not only I just “donated” our money for a tickets that we could never use but most of all for disappointing my parents coz I know how they’re so excited to welcome us home.

Late at night Mama SMS me and she asked how long James will be in Jakarta. I replied but I didn’t hear from her again.

Laundry Bo

2005-01-24T22:45:00.000+07:00

Laundry day…WOW I never know that doing laundry together would be just as fun.

Picked up our ring and it fit me perfectly now.

First Movie

2005-01-23T23:00:00.000+07:00

Took James home to meet my brothers but only Reggy was around. Soooo surprised that Bogel didn’t bark at all when he first saw James. Normally he’ll bark to new people. Well, I guess even my fat ugly dog knows that James is the right man for me.

In the afternoon we went to the cinema “Meet the Focker” That movie is hilarious. I hold James’s arm tightly and said “Don’t worry my parents is not that crazy.”

~ ~

Our First Day

2005-01-22T22:17:00.000+07:00

We decided to resize the engagement ring as it was a little too big for my finger and we didn’t want it to fell off. But I really hate to see the jewelers mess around with my ring hehehehe. We dropped it off this morning at one of the jewelry shop in Ambassador Mall. It should be done in 2 days the man says.

We went to my old office the pinkish apartment to pick up the digital camera (thanks Melly!). Met Inka and Bekti down in the Building Management office. They were so surprised to see me with James especially when I showed them the ring. Inka asked “So, when is the big day?” We said we still have some things to take care of before we could really have any details. “Oh by the way just don’t have it on April…” she blushes when she said that. “It’d be too crowded to have such a big event twice in the same month hehehehe.” Phleaseeeee……No one is going to steal your thunder girl!

After that we went to Plaza Semanggi for a little window shopping. Check out some pretty wedding bands at Frank & Co Shop but WOW they’re so expensive! Then we had coffee at Starbucks. All smileys for we still can’t believe we’re finally together.

~ ~

THE DAY!!!

2005-01-21T23:59:00.000+07:00

China Airlines from Hong Kong was scheduled to arrive in Cankering at 09:55 PM. I got there at 09:00. I thought I got about 55 minutes to calm my nerves hehehehe. So I waited in McDonald trying to push some meals down my throat but I guess my stomach is already full with all the excitements.

By 10:00 PM I heard they announced the arrival of China Airlines Flight No. 671. My heart skipped as I rushed to find a good spot to see that man my heart has been long for. Lots of Chinese people came out of the Arrival Gate…when I saw this old white guy walked into my direction I said “It can’t be him…he’s not bald” hehehehe. Around 10:30 PM I still haven’t see him and worries began to creep in making my palms sweat. “He is here…he is here…he is here….” I murmur alone like some mad women. God, please don’t let those immigration guys give him any hard time inside. It wasn’t until almost 11:00 PM that I saw a man wearing a dark blue button up shirt walked out and strangely I just know it’s James. He turned left then immediately saw me. From a far I could see his face lit up so happily and his smile…….OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! I waved and rushed to go to the exit door. (James told me later that I was jumping and waving when our eyes first meet and I didn’t even remember that I actually jumped. LOL) Felt like I could yell at those other people standing right in front of the tiny exit door and block our ways. I don’t know who hugged who first (it doesn’t even matter now) but all I remembered was we both hugged so tightly. James holds me so tight and lifts me from the ground a little. It’s as if we’ve met before. We let go a little to see each other faces. Something stings my eyes and I could see that face I’ve been longing for also is struggling to say something. We hugged one more time before I said “Let’s go”.

“Where’s your stuffs?”
“That guy just took the cart right off my hand after I put everything in there. So I had to go after him.”

James put his arms around my shoulder as we walked outside to get a taxi. God, it feels so natural, so right…that there’s not even a single shy, awkward moments like we feared on the phone for many times. When we met it’s just felt so….surreal coz there’s something that I can’t even explain between us. If only we could video tape that moment. He hugged me one more time outside and he said “God, I can’t believe I’m finally here with you Sunny”.

It was almost midnight I think when we got to “Wisma Lida” the boarding house I picked for him to stay. (Who cares about time now that we’re together hehehehe). So glad James like the room. He put his bag down and said “That box have all the stuffs that I didn’t send for Christmas coz you told me not to. But I think I will open that later coz I have to do something first.” He kneeled down and open his black little suitcase. I thought he’s just unpacking so I just sat there by the end of the bed smiling and feeling so happy. When he turned around to face me, he had this pretty dark blue box in his hand.

OH GOD!!!!...Still kneeling he open that box and said: “Baby, do you want to make me very happy because I want to make you very happy for the rest of your life. Will you marry me? I love you so much.” (Pst, actually I was so taken by that moment, I didn’t even remember his exact words and I had to made him wrote it down in my agenda. LOL) All I could remember was this huge wave of happiness that hit me and toss me high in the sky. I didn’t even remember if I said “I do!” Then James put that beautiful ring on my finger, we hugged, we kissed…sensor....

Can’t believe that now he is my fiancé. WE’RE ENGAGED. YAY!!!!!!!!!!

Later on he opened that big brown box (gosh it’s even bigger than his suitcase). He gave me this present nicely wrapped in a very pretty color and bows. YAY!!!!!!!!! It’s a special edition of Chicken Soup For The Bride’s Soul. Awwwwwwww….Then he pulled out this huge steel basket parcel of Lavender sets of body lotion, body bath gel, powder, sponge…it’s so pretty. OMG…James really bring those fortune cookies just like he said on the phone. Hehehehe…I’m like a little girl got all excited. He even got me my first Christmas socks with many chocolates and candies inside it. Then he pulled out this really cute tiny Christmas socks “This is for Bogel” WOW!!!!! A red collar with Bogel’s name engraved on it. James apologized for forgetting the Ray Charles CD he got for Papa but I said it’s okay coz he will get so busy fighting over all of those sugar free candies and chocolates with Mama hehehehe. My God, James brought so much stuff in that box hehehehe.

Tonight, for the first time in God only knows how many nights I could finally had a really good sleep.

~ ~

...Dag Dig Dug...

2005-01-20T01:47:00.000+07:00

Somewhere out there...inside Northwest's bird of steel sit a man that my heart and soul has long for. He will stop by in Hong Kong for almost a day before he fly to Jakarta. OMG…my heart feels like it’s going to pop out of my chest any minute. All of these anxiety is torturing me in a good way coz I feel so happy, excited, and nervous at the same time.

My knees would melt by the time I stand at the airport waiting to see him coming out to find me. Oh my God…I never felt this way before in my whole life as if I could scream out loud and let the whole world know how happy I am.

Hitipeuw Rocks!!!

2005-01-14T23:53:00.000+07:00

Tonight I met Grace Hitipeuw Fallin at Plaza Semanggi.Started with a funny misunderstood coz I thought we had agreed to meet in Plaza Semanggi at Starbucks, while she thought it’s Plaza Senayan. So she called me at around 08:15 PM.

Kak Grace: “Maureen, di Starbucks kan?”
Me: “Iya Kak. Yang di deket Lobby A…”
Kak Grace: “Plaza Senayan kan?”
Me: “Waaah, Plaza Semanggi Kak. Aduh sorry banget Kak.”
Kak Grace: “Nggak pa-pa aku kesana sekarang biar kamu lebih deket pulangnya.”
Me: “Okay, maaf yah Kak.”

I was worrying that it might took her awhile to get to Plaza Semanggi from Plaza Senayan since there’s normally a long queuing for Taxi at that time around and I felt bad that she had to go all the way to Plaza Semanggi. To my surprise, she spotted me first. We exchange hugs then she introduced her sister Kak Sandra and her husband Sydney to me. We decided to get something to eat and headed to the Food Court. C Café had moved from the 2nd Floor to ….(uhm forgot which floor) and we chose to had dinner there. I like that café, James and I have to go there when he’s here.

Oh it was a great time meeting her, her husband and sister. They’re all great people. It’s so good to finally meet her coz we’ve been e-mailing one another for ages but most of all coz we both have the same family name…HITIPEUW. My grandma always says: “Whenever you meet HITIPEUW, then they must be your family since there’s not many Hitipeuw around.” It just feels so natural talking with her and her sister about Hitipeuw coz it’s very interesting to get to know where my father came from and how the family had branched out so widely. Oh and Hitipeuw is all the same in one way…we love to laugh and joke a lot!

Too bad we can’t stay longer coz Plaza Semanggi closed at 10:00 PM and we had moved back to Starbucks from C Café until 11:OO PM when they started to closed down everything. Hopefully, soon we will meet again in Virginia.

Journal of a Jobless Gal

2005-01-11T18:00:00.000+07:00

Jakarta, in a way it’s just like the chaotic version of New York City. With all its glitz and lavish lifestyle, yet if you look closer you will see plenty of people in my shoes. And believe me it’s not the most comfy shoes in the world.

It still amazes me how one job opening has so many people rushed to try their luck. In this city, the X factors are: looks, overseas diplomas/certificates and age that will snag you a really good job. Sometimes I still raised my eyebrows reading so many job advertisements in news paper that emphasizes more on these so called X factors . All in all, my own personal look is: won’t be embarrassing, I know how to dress properly enough said. Overseas diplomas/certificates? Forget it! I didn’t even finish my college degree due to financial reasons. Age? I’m on the edge of those “unreasonable” standards the media splashes on people here. “Maximum 25 years old.”

The unfairness sometimes chocked me. There are times that I mercilessly cursed my ex boss who stabbed my back and “sold” me to his colleagues. There are times that I blame my self for not sticking around in my “exile” long enough until I could get another job.

My boredom of wearing these shoes keeps rolling in like a snowball. My tiny black agenda are full with so many interviews but nothing came out the way I expected to be no matter how optimistic I was of my performance during those interviews. That’s why I’m getting afraid to build up my hopes too high now.

Sigh…oh well…I guess I’ll just keep on looking and going to endless interviews until my luck change.

MESSAGE FROM A MOM TO HER CHILD...

2005-01-04T23:03:00.000+07:00

I gave you life, but cannot live it for you.
I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.
I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
I can buy you beautiful clothes, but I cannot make you beautiful inside.
I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.
I can advise you about friends, but cannot choose them for you.
I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you about alcohol & drugs, but I cannot say "no" for you.
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I cannot achieve them for you.
I can teach you about kindness, but I cannot force you to be gracious.
I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.
I can love you with unconditional love all of my life....and I will.

Note: Got this from my Dad & it's just so luvly.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2005-01-01T22:49:00.000+07:00

Although there’s a dark cloud of grieve all over Indonesia (and some other countries) in welcoming 2005, there’s still hope somewhere, somehow, someway.

“Mari kita sambut tahun 2005 dengan doa dan renungan.” That’s a really nice words I just heard on Metro TV. Let us greet the year 2005 with prayers and contemplation, that’s what it means.

New Year means new hopes, new plans in life, new age (sigh!). My biggest deepest hope for this year is to finally be together with the love of my life, my soulmate, lover, my bestfriend, James Rohn. A whole new journey is waiting for us this year. There’s bound to be some hard times along the way but we’re in this together and we will make it!

It’s been a long time since the last time I came up with New Year’s Resolutions but here’s mine:
1. To have everything that James and I planned and hopes for come true.
2. To find a great new job or going back to college.
3. To become a better person, a better partner for James.

Everybody have dreams and where there’s dreams…there’s hopes. I had dreamt for someone like James for a long time and I thought he only exist in dreams. But the moment he touched my heart, I know he’s given me hopes, given me reasons to believe in all that I had dreamt of.
Oh January please just fly away and hurry take me to January 19, 2005!

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

2004-12-31T18:42:00.000+07:00

Looking back to the passing days
People come and go some stays
Trace of laughters and tears
Happiness and sadness

Deep scars now dried and healed
Broken vows had been restored
Now only tears of happiness
Where trust was torn one too many times

Reminiscence of those days now belong to yesterday
It’s been hard made me stumble on my knees
Before I saw that ray of hope from far away
Looking forward to face more days with smiles

Tomorrow will be here
Obstacle would still be there along the way
Hold my hand soon we will be there
Standing in front of God and those vows we will say

REFLECTION

2004-12-31T18:15:00.000+07:00

Another year in a matter of hours will be gone. New days are waiting to begin. This has been one heck of a ride! Mostly bitter in the first 6 months. Never thought all of those pains will be worth it. I should really say thank you to them for if it wasn’t for them, I would never recognize the treasure I found. Failed liaison teach me to see what I truly deserve and worthy of. Deceitfulness allows me to recognize the purity of one’s soul. Never compromise dear! So thanks guys!

New friends, old friends…Bid my farewells some stay in touch, some is totally out of sight. True friends remain the strongest in the end.

Career related issues… this truly isn’t my year. 3 years and 8 months of dedications meant nothing for those profit-oriented monsters. Just when you thought you know someone…backstabbing has become a normal thing. Well what goes around comes around rite? Been a really tough 3 months. I do miss those hectic daily routine behind my desk.

This Christmas and New Year is the first time I ever being alone and it’s very disappointing. To think that I might not be there with them for the next Christmas and New Year sadden me.

Tragedy shook all nations. Opened my eyes of how fragile life is. How it could be swept away in minutes. Teaches me to stop and smell the roses, to say grace for everything I have.

As I bid farewell to 2004, I should truly be grateful for God’s blessings for everything He allows me to have this year. From the pain to the true love I’ve found.

TEARS 4 MY COUNTRY

2004-12-31T03:26:00.000+07:00

God help this country…

What seems like some scenes from movies are not movies, they’re very real. Those images linger in my mind so much that I can’t even sleep as I keep seeing them in my head. Tiny kids laying dead on the streets, mothers cries out for their lost dead babies and husbands, fathers lost their wives and childrens, childrens lost their parents and whole families too confuse to understand what happened. These people’s life has been torn apart and it really breaks my heart especially because they’re my people.

I am so lucky and blessed that this tragedy didn’t hit Jakarta or Borneo where my family lives but what happened hit me very hard. Life is so precious and it could be taken away from us so easily.

Today, the total victims in Aceh rises up to 45,000 people killed and the numbers are rising. Jesus, please help us.

Always With Me

2004-12-28T01:03:00.000+07:00

I have never seen your face
Never been able to hold you
Never felt your presence near
But I feel the love you give
It’s so pure and sweet.
No conditions or expectations
Honestly telling you how I feel
Knowing you're there for me.
Reaching out to you with an open heart
Situations not allowing things to be.
Emotions continue to grow.
Your name causes the heart to flutter
Like a rare jewel just discovered
Rare and so very precious
Priceless beyond measure.
You have became so very special
Not the physical appearances or of monetary gain
You have became a part of my life
Embedding yourself in my mind, in my heart, and in my soul.
Knowing you are there means more than you will ever know
Feeling your love brightens each and every day
Hope you know what you have become...a part of me
Always with me.....always

(Beautifully written by Faye Kitchen)

Oh January Where Are Thou?

2004-12-27T20:18:00.000+07:00

“Raindrops keep falling on my head…”

Well it’s “keep falling on my city” to be more precisely as it’s been heavily raining everyday here mostly at nights. As a matter of a fact, it’s raining again outside. In a way the rain helps ease my “heat rashes” but the heavy rains had started to cause some floods in several parts of Jakarta. Luckily, I live in a “free flood” area.

God, I really really can’t wait for January to be here. Then the countdown can beginJ. It’s less than 3 weeks…23 days left before I could finally be in the arms of the man that I love. Anxiousness and nervous already strikes me (well J too!) of that big day…January 19, 2005. James will be flying off from New York that day. His itinerary is:

January 19, 2005
New York – Hong Kong
ETD: 11:50 AM
ETA: 10:25 PM (January 20, 2005)

January 21, 2005
Hong Kong – Jakarta
ETD: 05:05 PM
ETA: 10:15 PM

Honestly, I really hate the fact that he has to transit in Hong Kong for over 18 hours before his next flight to Jakarta. James assured me that it’s ok because there were no other options. He’ll just wait around the Hong Kong airport and stubbornly refused to get a transit hotel. Argh! My stubborn bule!!!!

We will then fly home to Balikpapan to see my parents on January 25 until January 27, 2005. Dad already bought me my return ticket so we had to get James’s ticket with the same airlines and hopefully it’ll work.

James’s right when he said that after having his tickets at hand it is getting harder to go through all of our waiting period. It is very hard but I know that it is so worth it and if I were asked to do it all over again I would definitely say yes! “Good thing comes to those who wait.” That’s what people say and I believe it. All of our painful- hard-miserable waiting period will make it all worthwhile in the end when we are united and there will be no more distances between us.

The hardest waiting period would be during the whole K1 visa processing. Being in New York helps, as we will apply to the Vermont Service Center, which people says the fastest center in the whole USA. We’re looking at a 3 to 6 months waiting period. Julinda told me that it would be even harder during that second part of the waiting since we would already meet in person. God, please help us through all of that.

I love you James!

Indonesia Menangis

2004-12-27T17:00:00.000+07:00

Those images flashes repeatedly on many channels on TV since yesterday really break my heart. One particular image really brought tears in my eyes was a shot of a women crying frantically holding her dead baby.

By this time, they said casualties of that horrific earthquake and tsunamis are more than 15,000 people in Srilanka, India, Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia and Maldives. The numbers are rising by the minutes. In Banda Aceh, Sumatra it self, more than 4,400 people killed and those are just estimated numbers as rescuer are still searching over the badly damaged area. They said it’s the worst earthquake in 40 years since 1964. Our new president SBY had declared this as national disaster and had pledged 3 days of national mourning. He advised all Indonesian to raise half-mast national flags.

The local TV, Metro TV said that Meteorological Service Center had issued warning to those lives around Sumatra and West Java as more earthquakes are more likely to happen in the next two weeks from now. God…I can’t imagine how devastated Indonesia will be if it happen again and hit West Java which is the most populated area of this country. Jakarta is very close to West Java and it is going to be more horrified than it’s already is if another earthquake as huge as last Sunday hit us.

Indonesia needs a lot of prayers right now because only God could prevent this huge natural disaster. Oh Lord…please saves this country.
~ Amen ~

Tears for Christmas

2004-12-25T01:22:00.000+07:00

Emptiness fill my heart
Suppose to be with the ones I love not apart
Smile...I tried but it's so hard
When they think I'm being disregard

Could they ever forgive
For breaking the tradition not being home
Could they ever understand
That this is not what I planned

God help me...
Please heal this torment inside

Blue Xmas

2004-12-24T23:23:00.000+07:00

In my mind…
There’s a perfect picture of how Christmas should be
The smell of pine tree fills the room
Red, green, and gold shining from our lovely tree
Bright colorful presents sit nicely underneath it
Maybe even some last minutes shopping
We will be curled up closely keeping each other warm
After a special dinner celebrating your birthday
Our hearts will glow with so much love inside
Maybe even some hot chocolates in our hands
Listening to beautiful Christmas carols
Picturing additional presents for our little one
Christmas Eve will always be very special
As we celebrate two of God’s amazing gift in our lives

In reality…
There’s no pine tree or a fake Christmas tree
There are no bright lights
There are no colorful presents
And I’m sitting here all by my self
Since you are not with me
Sadness fills my heart
For I yearn to hold you
Never had Christmas bluer than this

In my heart…
You are there to stay
Your presence is only a heartbeat’s away
Your sweet love wipes my blues

In my mind…
I am a thousand miles away from where I stand
For my home is no longer here
Together then there shall be no more blue Christmas

In my wishes…
All I want for Christmas is you
Beside you is where I belong no where else
Then there will be no more blue Christmas

Thank You

2004-12-24T23:21:00.000+07:00

Today, allow me to say thank you
For nine months of anticipation, anxiety you put your self into
For letting that tiny foots kicked your tummy
For bearing those pains of giving birth
For nurturing that fragile creature with tenderness
For many nights you had to woke up or stay awake at the break of dawn
For kissed many scratches and wounds that little boy had
For many hugs and kisses
For packing his many lunches and see him went to school
For teaching him of many great things in life
For priceless values you’ve placed upon his soul
For guiding him through that difficult teenage moments
For letting him go into the wild world
For allowing him to explore
For listening to his stories
For many continuous prayers
For always being there when life gets tough for him
For all the tears of sadness you’ve shed for his pain
For those smiles of happiness you’ve shared with him
For welcoming and loving those two little angels of his own
For unconditional love that made him the man he is today
But most of all I shall be forever thankful
For being the mother of that special man I love so much

A Mother's Gift

2004-12-24T23:18:00.000+07:00

There may never be enough words
To express the gratitude
There may never be the right cards
To signify your greatness

As we celebrate that special day today
I rejoice from afar in my prayer
Saluted you for that important role you carry
The gift of a lifetime you’ve given as a mother

That special bond you create
Along with your unconditional love
Through ups and downs you were always there
Years may passed but you are always a mother

We will forever cherish
God’s angel you brought into this world
Your love so pure and true it shall never parish
Now a grown man but never apart from his roots

Today, allow me to say thank you
For you has raised a wonderful son
The person I love inside out
And may God’s blessings shall forevermore stay with you

For A Mother

2004-12-24T23:13:00.000+07:00

Today, many years in the past
You carry him inside
Your love grow fast
Pushed all the discomforts aside

Today, in that special day
You bear the pain and struggled
Letting him out but you know forever he will stay
The smile you had was radiant when you hold him close

Since that moment you laid your eyes on him
Your love grew deeper and stronger
With gentleness and care, you raised him
Show him life, trying to make it better

It’s your unconditional love, tenderness and care
It’s your patience and values
That making him the man he is
That making him the man I love

You are one true special mother
The one that we will cherish forever
For if it hadn’t been you
I may never found a love so pure and true

With gratefulness
With respect
With love
For a special mother

THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS

2004-12-24T01:11:00.000+07:00

The day before Christmas
God deliver a baby on this place called earth
Precious gift
The room light up when he first cries that little infant

The day before Christmas
Happiness floats through the room it beaming
Proud parents smiles their love shining
A beautiful baby curled up in his mother arms peacefully sleeping

The day before Christmas
Not only did God bless upon them a healthy handsome baby
He is a son, a father and a lover it is written in the sky
As he walks thru life he’s unfolding life mystery

The day before Christmas
God placed him into my destiny it is written in the stars
For he will find me and something will sparks
That’s when we realize a true love has start

The day before Christmas
Forever thankfulness and praise to the Lord I shall grant
For He had given me the most precious Christmas present
A soulmate, a best of friend, a lover and a father has been given to me

The day before Christmas
My heart will forever be rejoice in happiness
For the man that God sent beyond my requests
Happy birthday my love and God shall continues bless you
You are the most beautiful Christmas present I could ever wish for

Happy Birthday Baby

2004-12-24T01:07:00.000+07:00

Happy Birthday my love. I love you for always & forever more.

The Journey

2004-12-23T23:10:00.000+07:00

There she sits isolated in her tiny territory
Darkness wraps her tightly
Glanced thru the window to the black sky
Mostly alone that is her true story

Underneath the smiles and laughter
There’s a girl life was slaughter
Often she hoped the ground would swallow let her disappear
As future seems to be blurrier and blurrier

Just when she started to accept the part of being alone
“I’ve got my friends, I’m more than okay.” Became her hymn
Ignoring the empty deep longing inside
Surrendered to her faith without a qualm

A gentle voice
A face she had not seen
Came knocking gradually building up her confidence
Pull her out of her den

Tenderness shows her it is okay to trust again
That voice, that smile is the light at the end of her tunnel
Something new and fresh will not be another same old vain
Finally her heart could settle

Their steps are from two different ways
Faith will lead them comes what may
It’s hard, sometimes shaky
Inside their souls there’s a bond until their dying day

They traveled a great miles
Tasted the bitterness and the pain
Only to strengthen the precious bond their hearts smiles
Together they will stay forever, Amen!

You

2004-12-23T23:03:00.000+07:00

You release the women in me
When you unlock that prison I put my self in
You show me reasons to have faith
When I thought I had figured out the story of my youth

You give me hope
When things seems to be rolling off the slope
You make me believe
When I thought everything’s mischief

You open your self
When I was questioning your belief
You shows me what true love suppose to be
When I thought those only exist in some cheap tale

You brought rainbows
When my sky only knew black and grey
You give me flowers
When I thought those are just fictions

You pull me close to your chest
When things fall into chaos
You pull me into your arms
When my feelings are in harm

You let me cry
When things got gloomy
You kissed my tears
When things go wrong bring me fears

Do you know when you touch my hand…
It’s really my heart that you touched

Alone

2004-12-23T02:30:00.000+07:00

Alone...
When I suppose to be in your arms
Your love will always keep me warm
But I'm still here alone

Alone...
Tears falling down my heart yearns
This candle will forever burns
Just wishing time will quickly turns

Alone...
You are right baby it is getting harder
My heart wants you here
To be alone with you and make it three

Alone...
Days are dragging by so slow
I will survive somehow
For our love is for real and true that I know

Where My Love Is

2004-12-15T00:11:00.000+07:00

Where my love is I have to follow;
Where my soul lives is in the hollow; of your heart;
The part of me that makes you whole
The part of you in my soul;
You give me love like no other ;
In return with my love I will protect and cover;
You will always have me by your side;
In my heart you will always reside;
I love you with a love that never ends;
Together we will always be;
Just you and me;
Together just us two;
Our love will make three;
The child a gift our love will bring into our lives;
Will be the truth that our love always will survive!
I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH MY WIFE

Moony. December 4th, 2004

Our Story

2004-12-09T23:39:00.000+07:00

Under a different skies
Two hearts beating just as strong
No empty promises no lies
No matter how things goes wrong

Distances separate the human flesh
Oceans away but never in heart
Yet the fire within continue burning fresh
Our love stands solid facing every hardship

Faith brought us here
With hands that cannot touch cannot hold
We know that time will come where we will be together
Where finally our future will be unfold

Tears of love falling we howl for a moment
With invisible hands we wipe it off our face
Every obstacle is our nourishment makes it sweet
The rewards waiting bring peace

Soon my love…
Our story will reach its prelude
A lifetime of love
Happiness that will last forever
And our story will be a romantic fable
For our children and children’s children

~Sunny. December 3, 2004 ~

Lovers Tears

2004-12-08T22:07:00.000+07:00

These hands long to hold
Yet the when or where is still unknown
Season change it's getting cold
Tears falling we could hear it on the phone

Tantrums I throw all the time
Yet your patience keep me to the ground
"I only want to be with you..." is that a crime
Your love do keep me earthbound

Promises I do believe
Dreams please come true
One day we will smile so wide in relieve
When one become two

Lovers Missery

2004-12-08T22:00:00.001+07:00

J's birthday is coming...
Christmas is coming...
New Year is coming...
But I left with nothing
For my lover is not here

Our Story

2004-12-03T18:00:00.000+07:00

A Lifetime of Love

2004-11-15T09:10:00.000+07:00

Across the miles we have trod,
you, and I, and our God.
Through the thicket of lifes saddest times,
and the meadows of flowers through the best of times.
We've seen lifes awesome mountain line,and traveled the deepest of seas.
Together you and I,have felt the summers breeze.
Our children raised, on their own pathway of life they walk.
And now, my dear we're back once more,
where we started once before.
The circle of life is a beautiful thing,
because with it many memories we bring.
I look at you and see you yet,
as beautiful as you werewhen we first met.
And you, my love, so handsome and strong,
i'm thankful to you I belong.
Our marriage has lasted 50 years.
Through ups and downs,and laughter and tears.
If we were asked would we do it again?
Our reply would be...most certainly my friend!
So take this poem and wrap it up,and tie it with a golden bow.
On it write these last few words,
that sum it up so you will know...
Because in each other we both see,
the best friend, sweetheart, and lover,anyone could ever be.

(Beautifully Written by Darlene Sing)

I wish James and I will have a lifetime of love like this poem.

THE ANSWER

2004-10-20T21:00:00.000+07:00

Before you walked into my life
I was on a verge of given up those childhood dreams of becoming a wife
Before you stepped into my little space
I thought love was just an illusion never meant to be mine

When you took my hand
It was really my heart that you touched
When you gently put those seeds
It was really hope that you given me

Before your gentleness tear down my so called castle
I was scared to open up this battered heart
Before your sweetness stole my feelings
I never thought that someone like you even exist

When we talked about our dreams and wishes
I see a reflection of my own the ones I thought had gone in ashes
When we start to unfold our deepest beliefs
I recognize an image that has always been there shut inside my forgotten boxes

Now that this love has grown
It’s roots found a home deep in my soul
Now that this journey had to come to an end
I want you to know that you are the answer

An answer to my tearful prayers
An answer to all of my “Why’s, When’s, and How’s”
An answer given from heaven above
An answer I will treasure forever

GOING PUBLIC

2004-10-04T16:10:00.000+07:00

James did something that really touched me last night when we chatted I showed him that topic in IUC about “Does your husband….” Because it talked about whether IUC member husband’s mind to see or hear their wives talk in Bahasa. Since James has been learning lately I showed him that topic and without saying a word he post a reply there and told me to check it. WOW!!!!!!!!!! My Moony really stunned me and he makes me feel so happy. He wrote: “You know as the boyfriend of a certain girl in Jakarta...lol I love to hear her speak bahasa and am learning myself. So if you feel that insecure about what your wife is talking about then you should make an effort to learn. I know it comes hard to some but is not impossible, so remember your wife was speaking in bahsa before you met her and to get upset about her speaking with her friends is very selfish so get over it. Oh by the way, Maureen Saya tidak sabar ingin bertemu lagi."

James” Oh James….he really me. He said he wants the whole world to know how much he me. The IUC girls are going to tease me for that but I don’t care hehehehe. James and I laughed so hard when I told him that Cilla sent me a message as soon as she read. She said: “Cieee…Mas James ikutan posting nih ye…”

~ ~

Soulmate

2004-09-27T01:41:00.000+07:00

I U JAMES LEGRANDE ROHN!!!!

THE MAGIC OF YOU

2004-09-25T22:15:00.000+07:00

Magical…
That’s how this is feel
Nice but surreal
Could it be destiny finally decided to reveal it self

“Three times lucky” you said
Yes you’ve become the sweetest reward
For all the tears and pain behind me
Heaven smiles upon me when you express

Amazing …
Days unfold and the seeds start growing
Astounding…
The way you brought back things that once was vanished

“Sunshine” you mentioned so softly
And my heart sings jollily
Could it be true that all my journey of being alone
At last reached its finale?

“Moony” my soul call out for you
I never felt this way about loving
Everything feels so right and true
Beside you is where I belong

In LUV

2004-09-18T10:30:00.000+07:00

is in the air….

Yes! I’m falling in and have the greatest man that me so much. James just called me and we talked for almost an hour. God, it’s so good to hear his voice and laughter again! I really really miss our long talks but I do realize that it’s too expensive to do that and it’ll be better for James to save that money to come here. I would still be happy if we talk on the phone one a week if we have to.

We talked about what I wrote in my email. Fiancé Visa. He said he was thinking about that same thing. Oh James, I’m so happy that he didn’t think I’m crazy to talk about marriage and all that so soon. James even went online to read about the K-1 info. I this man so much, I can hardly wait for that day we’ll be together forever.

James sent me a really beautiful e-mail yesterday. It’s so beautiful that I got tears running down when I read it. I’ll print that because I think that’s one of the most beautiful e-mail James ever sent me!

God please bless this relationship! AMEN!!!

~ * ~

Declaration of LOVE

2004-09-17T20:00:00.000+07:00

SEPTEMBER 16, 20004...

Will forever be a special day for James and me. Because today, heaven smiles and shines upon us. Because today, our relationship stepped into a new level.

James got online around 9 AM and he said there’s something that he want to tell me but only when he could hear my voice. Somehow I got a feeling that he’s going to say those words that’s so meaningful but I’m just too curious to wait until Monday for him to call. So I said “Honey, brb.” And dial his office’s number coz he left his cell phone in a plane hehehehe. James was surprised to hear my voice and he said it!!! “Maureen, I love you. I love you very much Sunny!” Oh Lord, my heart suddenly got so swollen with so much love for this man and my knees are weak because I’m so happy! James Rohn, I love you too very much!

We continue chatting after my voucher ran out and it’s just such an overwhelming feelings to know that finally we express how much we love one another. I feel like I could jump around like a little girl coz I’m so happy and I want the whole world to know!

September 16, 2004 will forever be the day that we’ll remember and celebrate as it’s our love declaration day. James says we’ll celebrate it from September 15 because it was September 15 in the evening there for James hehehehe.

James told me that he’s so happy and he knows that we’re meant to be together. He got tears in his eyes because of that. Tears of joy. I got them too! How can’t I not cry when James makes me so happy, so truly love and I know that what we have is something so precious and beautiful? James’s love really move me in a way that I never feel before. His pure love and sincerity are so amazing it’s making me falling even more in love with him.

Oh thank You Jesus…thank You for sending someone like him into my life. Please bless this love that grows so strongly in these two hearts. Please guide us as we walk to our future together. I love him Lord…so much and I know You sent him into my life for a reason.

I do love you so much James Rohn!!!

Jakarta in Tears

2004-09-10T19:45:00.000+07:00

Barbaric!!!!!!!!

Who would’ve thought our country will have to endure another bloody attacked?! Yesterday, 9 people were killed and over 168 people got injured when a bomb exploded in front of Australian embassy at 10.30 AM. That news hit us Indonesian very hard!

I was at work when the secretary, Vera said “There’s been a bomb explosion in Kuningan!!!” Suddenly I found my self panicking because it’s very close to our house. Called Reggy but he doesn’t really know where it happened as he’s not at home. Called my old office and the receptionist confirmed that it was a bomb. She said they could feel the blast shaking the apartments. I asked Reggy where Danny is and he said Danny’s at home. So, I called Oi (Reggy’s friend) since Danny doesn’t have a cell phone yet. Oi was at the ground zero near the Australian embassy. He said Danny’s ok, they’re all ok. The impacts were a lamp fell down from the ceiling in our living room and the roof was shaken but they’re ok. Since my office doesn’t have any TV, people were looking for news in Fenny’s little radio. Everyone at work were shocked. Auntie Like called me and asked if we’re ok because she knows how close the explosion from our house. She even said if we feel like it’s not safe Uncle Ruddy will pick us up to stay with them for awhile. Thank you Auntie! Then I called Mom because I know she’ll get so worry about us if she sees the news. Turned out that Mom had seen that news and called me when I was talking with Auntie Like. I nearly cry when I told my Mom the exact locations of the bomb and how I was so close to that place that morning.

Annette didn’t know about that news before I PM her, I then asked her help to give James a miss call because I don’t have any voucher left on my cell phone. Annette called James but she said there’s no answer and I told her it’s ok. James will call me back, I’m sure! Annette was so anxious and wanted to make sure that he does call, so she decided to call him again. “He said he’ll call you now!” Just after I thank her, my cell phone rang. Quickly I grabbed my phone and ran outside to have a better signal.

Just to hear James voice made me broke down and cried. I was so panicked, scared and shock. James was as shocked as I am when I told him what happened. Shared with him my most worries and also of how God has been protecting me. Having to pass that area everyday and those buildings on my way to work…God! I was even sat on the first row seat, right next to the bus driver in that morning. SO many thoughts running thru my mind that it makes me very emotional and James allow me to let it all go. James was the one who really consoles me. He said “Now I know why you always go to work very early in the morning.” The news makes James very upset too that he said “That’s it. I’m taking you back with me when I come there!” In his tone, I realized how much he meant it. That just makes me love him more. YES!!!! I LOVE YOU JAMES ROHN!!!

The only thing in my mind after I assured that brothers are okay is “I have to call James. I must talk with him. I need him and I want to tell him how much he means for me!” James cried on the phone with me when he said “Oh, Sunny I’m so glad that you’re okay!” At first I thought I heart it wrong but suddenly I know that this man that I care so much for really was crying too on the other end. God, that only makes me love him more. For a moment there, we were “together” across all the distances and I could feel him holding me so tight.

That tragedy did brought us closer because I’m more convinced about James’s sincerity to me. I was so touched that he loves me as much as he does that he cried because he knows that I could’ve been one of the victim. He wasn’t embarrassed to admit that to me this morning when he called.

After he calmed me down I apologized for waking him up at such a late hour. It was almost 1am there by the time he called me. James insisted that it’s alright and he would rather hear about the bombing directly than seeing it on the news coz it’ll make him so worry. We talked on the phone for almost 1,5 hour and I’m so happy to know that he’s not afraid to come here even after US Embassy here issued a really strong travel warning. James said nothing would stop him from coming to see me. Thank You Jesus! James also surprised me when he said he’s been praying for me every night and every morning. He said “God must have heard my prayers that He keeps you away from harm.” What he said amazed me, because I thought he’s not very religious. That makes me very happy and yearning to be with him even more.

Last night, Vera dropped me off the Casablanca Street because the police blocked the entire roads to Kuningan, which is my route. By the time I got home I quickly watched the news. The horror of seeing what happened on TV really hit me hard. The Plaza 89, the building right across Australian Embassy that I still passed by when I have to use the pedestrian crossing bridge yesterday morning is now completely damaged. All the windows got shattered. Not long till I got home James called again to see if I’m ok. He called earlier when I was in Vera’s motorbike. James said I’m not supposed to pick up my phone when I’m riding a motorbike. He was worry about me. We talked for almost an hour then Mom and Dad called. Dad sounds worry but he clearly try not to show it too much. Dad asked me and my brothers to be careful. James also did the same. He made me promised him to always be careful and if I see something’s strange I will leave.

Around 11.30 PM me, my brothers, Oi and Ginta decided to go to the ground zero. There were so many people there just wanted to see with their own eyes how horrible it is. I was shocked and went speechless to see such damages. In my heart I keep saying “Thank You Jesus for saving my life and my brothers!” as I could’ve been there. Thinking of how I passed that area at around 6.30 AM, how I could still see the embassy’s securities on duty. We all watched in horror how Plaza 89, Gracia Tower and Kuningan Plaza were completely ruined. Reggy took some photos with his cell phone. How I wish I have Melly’s digital camera with me to capture those images. We saw how glasses were still falling off Plaza 89 as the workers try to clean up the mess. Then I asked the boys to go and crossed the street. Out national electricity company had set up a tent and I could see candles there. So we went there, my eyes were filled with tears when I read what people wrote in those 4 posters they had put up so people could write down their condolences. Many people cursed what happened. Condolences flowers were put outside of the tent. Some people prayed in front of the candles and lie flowers. I prayed too and cried at those poor people who have become a victim of terrorism. Then I got this urge of writing on the behalf of IUC on one of that poster. My hand was shaking when I wrote: “IUC’s heart and prayers goes out to the victims and their families. God bless Indonesia! IUC. Indo USA Couples.” Being in that place made me cry for the pain and suffers of the victims, innocent people who happened to be there when the bomb exploded.

We went home at around 12.30 but I can’t really sleep. There’s so many things going thru my mind. I woke up at 03.30 AM and decided to watch the news. At 04.00 AM I took a shower then not long after that James called. To hear his voice really comfort my weary heart. I do love you James!

James surprised me when he said that he’s looking for plane tickets for November 19th. He will arrive before 10 PM if he could by that date. James said the web site offers Hotel Sheraton, Hotel Le Meredien and Hotel Sheraton Bandara to him. That’s all 5 stars hotels and very expensive. James didn’t mind, he says he’ll leave me choose which hotel that I want. Although Hotel Le Meredien is a very good hotel, it’s very expensive. So I told him that I’ll check with Djuki, my travel agent buddy.

~ * ~

AFRAID

2004-08-18T22:45:00.000+07:00

Here I sit, isolated from the world
Alone darkness be my friends
And I feel afraid…
You are not here with me
And my love is struggling to get to you
Through those thousand distant miles
The feeling of your warm secure love makes me smile
Yet sometimes those fears come creepin
If only I knew how long this waiting will be
I would be content
If only I could your love surrounding me
I would feel complete
Longing to the moment where I will see your beautiful face
And your tender loving eyes gazing into mine
Longing to hold you
And living for the moment you will whisper “I love you”
For that is the moment where my heart will smile
And no longer be afraid.

WISER

2003-11-21T01:24:00.000+07:00

Friend, let me tell you a little story
Of this girl’s life
See her smiling no longer shy
For time had grew her wiser
Her life has it’s own black and white version
Mostly darkest than dark
There’s tear for every seasons
Some blackest than black
Taste the sweetness and swalloded the bitter jagged pills
There are times where she wants to give up and quit the fight
There are nights where darkness holds her tight
There are days where sunlight hurt her eyes and she just want to shut the world
Sometimes she thinks of the unfairness
Picturing all the pain she had to bear
Feeling the line of scars in her heart
Looking back to the window of yesterday
Had tasted the whitest shade of white
Shared a portion the darkest part of black
Dreams let alone remain dreams
Wishes stumble and hit the grounds
Prayers left unanswered
Wore a mask just to get around the days
Isolated from the world
Loneliness chews her heart among the crowds
Masquerade and parades
Never reveal how fragile inside
Those days are over
When she finally reached inside to pull away the scared little girl
As she had made peace with her self
She realized she’s more precious than she ever acknowledge
Lessons of life she had learnt the hard ways
She knows that’s just some phases she must go thru
Life never meant to be easy that’s what she understand
Just got to try and give her best, now she knows
In a classroom with no walls she realize there’s still much to learn
Life will keep on rolling and she’ll try to make it better than before
Life never tells people the whens or whys
Bitter and sweet are just a part of a greater plan
Exhale…and smile wider for she had become wiser
Wiser beyond her living years.

WONDER

2003-11-08T01:17:00.000+07:00

Questioning…
Wondering…
Sometimes I can’t push them away and just understand
When there’s so much I can’t follow

Easier of others
Harder to some
Luckier for others
Misfortune to some

Realizing life isn’t as plain as black and white
Color makes rainbows yes I know
Yet my share seems darker than most
Is there such thing as bad karma?

Life keeps me busy
Outside I’m more than okay
It took special people to read me thoroughly
To see the lines hidden behind my saying

WOMEN

2003-03-04T01:20:00.000+07:00

Look inside a woman’s eyes
Shinning peacefully upon a soul
Lay down inside a woman’s embrace
Free all sorrows wipe it away without a trace

A woman’s heart holds a tender love
Unlimited…knows no boundaries…ageless
A woman’s patience as wide as all seas
There’s strength beneath a woman’s softness
There’s softness beneath their strength

A woman’s soul stands a tower of faithfulness
A friend to cheer in happiness
A friend to grieve in mourning
A woman’s serenity stood high like a sky

Cherish a woman,
As you cherish your self
Love a woman,
As you love life it self

NO ANGEL

2001-03-10T01:22:00.000+07:00

I’m no beauty queen…
but got a heard that’s keen.
I’m not much of a fighter…
but for you I’ll learn to struggle
I’m no perfect…
but for you I’ll try to keep no secret.
I’m no saint…
but for you I’ll try not to disappoint.
I’m no immortal kind…
but this love for you have no end.
I’m no angel…
but for you I wish I can be your angel.